You are also forgiven for suspecting that all the other parts of this record would rank somewhere between disposable and deplorable. So upon first contact with 4:44, you are forgiven for fixating on those relatively few moments when he addresses Beyoncé-and Solange, and “Becky”-directly. But still, no, I don’t think people are looking to me as, like, The Thing.” “I stood in that window a really long time. “I think that rap in particular is a young man’s sport,” Jay told New York Times executive editor Dean Baquet in a lengthy late-November interview. Which is to say that on 4:44, the guy who’d once tried to sell us on the notion that “30’s the new 20” warily stared down 50, which is always just 50, no matter how many Basquiats you stash in your kitchen. His records now usually serve as loss leaders for his brand. But Jay-Z the Artist had long ago been eclipsed by Jay-Z the Business, Man. Watch the Throne, his full-length 2011 collaboration with fellow narcissist and frenemy Kanye West, has aged far better, its own “I’m planking on a million” crassness nicely undercut by the occasional burst of sincerely goofy exuberance. Even the highs got awfully cheesy-don’t forget that this is still Jay-Z’s only solo no. His last two solo albums, 2013’s Magna Carta Holy Grail and 2009’s The Blueprint 3, were largely soulless and corporate affairs. (Not very metal, but definitely emo.) Making just the song cry would no longer suffice.īut even lifelong fans might’ve worried that tabloid prurience was all Jay had left to offer. Track 1: “Kill Jay-Z,” wherein he goads himself into a psychological breakdown (“Cry Jay-Z / We know the pain is real / But you can’t heal what you never reveal”) and grimly imagines a future where his marriage fails completely and he’s stuck watching other men play football with his son. These things don’t really get touched on in music, especially in hip-hop.Tabloid prurience alone made 4:44 a sensation upon its release in late June, offering the spectacle of a very famous person groveling at the feet of his more famous wife. Everything it covers about being a man, being in a relationship, being a father, how you affect your kids. I told him that’s the best song he’s ever written. I go, let me go find my wife and give her a hug. He stops everything, presses play, and walks out the room. But I remember Guru brings it back and he does this little thing, walks in the room and doesn’t say anything. He recorded it at his house with nobody around–on Beyoncé’s mic. I boxed all of those parts in and said, here, what are you going do with this? That whole piece of music was created with me knowing: I’m going to make you say it on this song, and this song will be the only song you need to say it on so it wouldn’t turn into a full LEMONADE response album. It’s literally the way a producer and an artist should work–nudging and pushing, creating boundaries and allowing him to be the center. ‘Okay, I’m going home.’ True story, at 4:44 he wakes up in the morning and writes that song. I remember him just looking at me, sighing. So I went and made a piece of music that would box him in to telling that story. the song ‘4:44,’ Guru had told me Jay had the idea of writing a song like that. Do I find it so hard When I know in my heart I'm letting you down every day Letting you down every day Why do I keep on running away? Look, I apologize, often womanize Took for my child to be born, see through a woman's eyes Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles Took me too long for this song, I don't deserve you I harassed you out in Paris "Please come back to Rome, you make it home" We talked for hours when you were on tour "Please pick up the phone, pick up the phone!" I said: "Don't embarrass me" instead of "Be mine" That was my proposal for us to go steady That was your 21st birthday You matured faster than me, I wasn't ready So I apologize I seen the innocence leave your eyes I still mourn its death and I apologize for all the stillborns 'Cause I wasn't present, your body wouldn't accept it I apologize to all the women whom I toyed with your emotions 'Cause I was emotionless And I apologize 'cause at your best, you are love And because I fall short of what I say I'm all about Your eyes leave with the soul that your body once housed And you stare blankly into space Thinkin' of all the time, you wasted it on all this basic shit So I apologize
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